The Anger Trap

Who are you today?

Everyone lives with two (maybe more) sides to themselves.  One is the “Happy Camper” side that people see and the other is “Belligerent” side that lurks under the surface and can do the most damage.  One thing that can often be expected is that it is uncertain who will show up for dinner when they get home.  The person with the public face often times makes an appearance unless or until something isn’t the way it should be or something is said that isn’t viewed as acceptable or appropriate. 

Destruction with words

The blligerent person has very little control over things said or done.  Admittedly everyone has trouble, a lot of trouble, controlling what they do or say when anger takes center stage. When someone is angry, they may not want to even attempt do the things to maintain control.  After all, it is so much easier to give in and vent frustrations to get rid of the emotions that are difficult to contain.  When stuck in anger things are said that could be hurtful and those things that are capped tightly spill out and then it is too late to take them back.  After the storm passes and emotions are once again fully under control it is time to survey the damage.  Taking a look around the path of destruction is easily viewed, collateral damage has to be cleared, and battle wounds are left to clean up.  After the destruction site has been cleared it is then that it is realized that when anger is present in a relationship it can cause irreversible harm.  So what happens when you cannot unsay what has already been said and all that’s left are regrets?

Attention Seeker

It is no surprise that when someone loses their temper everyone around that person feels the aftershocks.  There is almost a feeling of the immediate need to strap on any protective gear that you have and wait for impact.  It is exhausting and difficult to continually feel the need to dodge the next explosion.  Not to mention the fact that everyone in contact with someone that is angry sits in the shadows because the person that is upset demands attention from everyone.  Everything stops as the show makes it to center stage and an unwilling audience is forced to bear witness to a loss of control.  Do they sit back or intervene to try to end the tirade?  Eventually a confrontation will occur and typically it never ends well.

Blind anger

When anger takes over completely, gone is the person that took up residence where the monster now lives (and let’s face it anger is a monster).  It creeps in steals rational thought processes and judgment and leaves behind a singularly focused monster.  Anger, so lost within its selfish desire for dominance and proving its self justified that it rages.  It holds no quarter and those who are unfortunate enough to be in the way are laid to waste.  Anger finds a weakness and exploits it until what is left is the hollow shell of trust and respect.

Taking Action

Everyone who is alive and is capable of expressing emotions will become angry at someone or something, after all anger is easier sometimes than dealing with other emotions.  Giving in to anger because it’s easier and lashing out because it gives a temporary happy feeling does not mean that there is no price to pay.  Things that are said and done when the monster invades have outcomes and consequences.  It is often harder for people on the receiving end of things to forget, forgive, and reconcile the actions portrayed by the person.  Everyone has a choice in how they behave no one can make you act or react in any certain way, it is time to take responsibility for what is done. 

What does God say?

There are repeated warnings in the bible against giving into anger, sometimes we need to talk about problems because most of the time our anger is not justifiable.  When we give in to anger we do not show God in a positive light instead God calls us to respond with wisdom and prayerful consideration.  James 1:20 says: Man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 

We have to remember that people are stupid in their flesh and will do or say things that can hurt or even anger these are some of the weaknesses of falling short of the glory of God.  Ephesians 4:29-32 says: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 

I believe that often times we forget that we are human.  As Christians we sometimes expect those around us to continually perform at a standard that at times is unreachable.  We have to remember that God knew exactly who we are and chose to save us anyway.  If He can forgive us our sins why can’t we forgive each other?