Desire

Desire.... it's in us all it can call us to action or stop us dead in our tracks but without a doubt it is a force to be reckoned with. 

Women sometimes are the worst at desiring things that may not be ours.  Like the size 4 body that we had in high school, or the porceline skin that the lady in the seat next to us might have.  We have this constant struggle because the world says that we aren't enough just how God made us.  The popularity for women to go out and change their body if they choose to is like telling God that He didn't do a good enough job the first time.  This is something I am just starting to realize.  I have longed for years to look different than I do to want to be some how prettier than the pretty that God has given me, as if man can do better than my savior. 

Sometimes, I feel like it is so hard to breath and then I remember how much I love God and how much he loves me but sometimes I am weak and need to cry, not because I am trying to handle it all on my own but because I am so overwhelmed by how little I am in the big picture.  How he loves me right in the middle and how much he is molding and changing me for his purpose even through the pain.  I think about how he never blames me or looks down on my for my humanness and how I am worthy of his love just as I am.  He makes it feel ok to just be me good, bad, and ugly especially in those moments when I don’t feel good enough or those times I yearn to be so much more than I am. 

Because of all of this I am daily reminded that my life is a blessing and that I cannot hate where I come from, who I am, or where I am now because I am beautiful and acceptable to Him.



Philippians 3:12-14 ESV
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus